It’s a Sunday, the sky is blue as far as I can see and I’m taking in the silence around me as I sit in the garden.
Following on from my last post; I’m unemployed, spring has sprung and I’ve been getting some downtime in – it’s been the breathing space I’ve needed. Time to reflect and time for the imagination to run wild. This afternoon has been a particular highlight of the weekend, reflecting on the simple pleasures in life amongst the chaos ensuing around the globe (with particular thoughts to those suffering in the wake of the recent Tsunami). From the trail of an overhead jet, silently stretching across the sky to the steam swirling on the surface of my freshly poured coffee it’s been pleasant to not have anything to do, to simply observe.
As always, my thoughts tend to drift towards biking in one form and another and the warmth of the sun of my cheek sparked the recollection of dusty summer trails, late-spring snowboarding and gloriously hot days at Pembrey – I could almost smell the tarmac.
The simple pleasures of racing bikes, in whatever form, is something I reflect on quite a lot. I do think of it as an indulgence and sometimes shamefully selfish too, but these concerns can be completed forgotten in a momentary sensation of absolute enjoyment. A sensation that is brought on by seamlessly linking up several turns through forest trail, or the touch of your knee on the ground as you wind open the throttle to power you out of the corner, or the momentary silence as you leave the ground and hang in flight. Yes, downright indulgence but absolutely intoxicating.
But who do I race for? That, I think, is a different story. Maybe there is a small element of satisfying my own competitive streak, but a large argument has formed in my head that I’m less competitive than I had first thought and that maybe the attraction is that of the social aspect, enjoying the mutual support and banter amongst friends. But does that mean I cannot ever win? Do I not have the cut-throat, aggression of a winner? Or is it feasible to be out for a good time AND put in a winning performance? Maybe I’m out to prove to myself that it is feasible.
Time-out, putting the laptop down to return to my coffee.